Maintaining Amicable Relations During and After Divorce

Parting ways with your spouse doesn’t always have to be contentious. If you share children with your spouse or would like to maintain a good relationship with them for other reasons, you might be wondering how to have an amicable divorce. An uncontested divorce can provide a low-conflict, cost-effective, and efficient way to end your marriage without adversarial litigation in the courtroom. However, there are a number of other things you can do to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex.

Here are several tips on how to have an amicable divorce:

1. File for an Uncontested Divorce

One of the best ways to maintain amicability with your spouse during and after divorce is by proceeding with an uncontested divorce. The uncontested process allows spouses to settle their case outside of court and remain in control of the outcome, rather than let a judge decide. It is often more cost-effective and efficient than proceeding with a contested divorce, and eliminates the need for a contentious trial.

2. Consider Mediation or the Collaborative Divorce Process

Using an alternative dispute resolution method such as mediation or the collaborative divorce process can help you achieve an amicable divorce, even if you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye on every issue that must be resolved. Unlike litigation, which is adversarial, these methods encourage spouses to communicate openly and work together to find mutually agreeable solutions. Mediation and the collaborative process can provide a safe space for healthy communication, reduce the stress that spouses might go through during litigation, and allow both parties to feel heard. These factors can contribute to a more peaceful relationship during and after divorce.

3. Expect to Compromise

One of the most critical things you can do when considering how to have an amicable divorce is to be willing to compromise during the process. It’s vital to understand that divorce isn’t about who wins or loses. By refocusing your mindset to finding solutions, focusing on common goals, and making concessions when necessary, it is possible to have a positive relationship with your soon-to-be former spouse during the divorce process — and after you have legally parted ways.

4. Put the Best Interests of Your Children First

Regardless of the relationship you have with your spouse, the best interests of your children should be first and foremost in divorce. They should never feel like they are caught in the middle of parental conflict or forced to choose sides. By prioritizing your children’s well-being and putting them first, you can focus on a shared goal with your spouse and create a more positive dynamic when it comes to co-parenting.

5. Create a Comprehensive Parenting Plan

Creating a comprehensive parenting plan is crucial to maintaining amicability during and after divorce. This document provides a solid framework for co-parenting by clearly outlining the responsibilities of each parent, the parenting time schedule, and the process for decision-making. It can reduce the potential for confusion, offer guidelines for communication, and help ensure compromise. By following the parenting plan and keeping routines consistent, you can not only help minimize conflict with your spouse, but help your children feel more secure as they go through this time of transition.

6. Practice Healthy and Effective Communication

If you are contemplating how to have an amicable divorce, it is key to practice healthy communication with your spouse, especially if you will be co-parenting. But healthy and effective communication doesn’t mean you have to be overly friendly with your spouse. Rather, you can approach communication in a business-like manner to keep things civil — this can also help to remove the emotions from your communication. If communication is strained, you might consider using a co-parenting app to reduce the opportunity for conflict.

7. Don’t Force a Friendship with Your Former Spouse

Don’t think you have to be friends with your former spouse after you’ve divorced in order to have an amicable relationship. While a friendship may develop over time, it’s essential not to try to force one too soon. First, process your emotions if you feel that developing a friendship would be appropriate in your situation. However, it’s also possible to maintain amicability with your former spouse by keeping your distance and not pursuing a friendship if it would be too emotionally difficult or painful.

8. Focus on Your Healing

Divorce comes with many emotions. By focusing on your own healing, you can develop coping strategies. It’s important to seek the support you need, whether you attend therapy sessions, lean on family and friends, or join a community group. Taking the time you need to recover and prioritize your emotional needs is not only beneficial for your overall growth, but it can also ensure you have the tools you require to keep your emotions in check when communicating with your ex.

Contact an Experienced Missouri Divorce Attorney

If you are wondering how to have an amicable divorce, a knowledgeable attorney can help. Divorce and family law attorney Mark A. Wortman is committed to guiding his clients through the divorce process and helping them achieve the best possible outcome. Mark provides compassionate and skillful representation to clients in the greater Kansas City, Missouri area for divorce matters and a broad scope of family law issues.

If you are going through divorce, schedule a confidential consultation to learn how attorney Mark A. Wortman can help with your case. Contact Mark online or by calling (816) 523-6100.