Supporting a Child’s Wellbeing Through a Divorce in Missouri

Parting ways isn’t only emotionally difficult for spouses. Divorce can be a challenging and stressful period for children, as well. It’s important for parents to understand the emotions that their child is experiencing during this transition and know what they can do to support them. The following are a few tips to keep in mind when you divorce with kids, to help ensure their best interests are prioritized.

1. Provide Stability and Consistency

Children thrive on routine. It gives them a sense of stability and can provide them with predictability during what may feel like an uncertain time. Try to maintain the same routines and schedules in both parents’ households to ensure consistency. Work with your co-parent to align the rules for each home and agree on the times for meals, homework, and bedtime to avoid confusion. This can help your child feel safe and secure, despite the changes that are happening in their life.

2. Encourage Open Communication

Open communication is crucial when you divorce with kids. Encourage your child to express their emotions to you. Instead of trying to cheer them up, validate their feelings. Let them know that it’s ok to feel sad or angry, and that these feelings are normal. However, avoid speaking badly about your ex with your child. Making disparaging comments about their other parent can make your child feel as if they need to choose sides, lead to a confused sense of self, and impact their self-esteem.

3. Remind Your Child That the Divorce is Not Their Fault

Children have a limited understanding of the complexities of adult relationships, and they often believe they had something to do with their parents parting ways. While younger children are used to cause-and-effect, they may link a past outburst to their parents’ divorce and assume responsibility. Reassure your child that the divorce is not their fault and both parents love them no matter what.

4. Explain the Changes Your Child Should Expect

Divorce can be a scary and confusing time for a child and they will want to know what to expect when the process is over. Explain to them what will change and what will remain the same in an age-appropriate way. If possible, talk to your child with your ex. It’s best to plan what you will say before the conversation and prepare for any questions that may come up.

5. Model Positive Co-Parenting

When you divorce with kids, it’s crucial to model positive co-parenting behavior. Present a unified front with your former spouse, no matter how contentious you might be. You don’t need to be friends with your ex, but you do need to put your children’s interests first and foremost. Show respect to your ex and view your co-parenting relationship a business relationship by focusing on facts, rather than feelings. If you cannot communicate with your ex without arguing, consider using a co-parenting app. These apps can assist with communication between co-parents, scheduling appointments and events, and storing your child’s school and medical records.

6. Keep Your Children Out of the Middle

One of the most important things you can do when you divorce with kids is to keep them out of the middle. This means not badmouthing their other parent in front of them, asking them to take sides, or using them as a messenger. While your child should know how the changes to come will affect their life, keep the details of your divorce private. Do not share adult problems with your child.

7. Consider Seeking Family Counseling

In some cases, a child might not want to talk about the divorce with you or your former spouse. They might be afraid they may hurt your feelings or worry about taking sides. Family counseling can provide a safe place for your child to discuss their emotions and allow them to develop healthy coping skills. It can also give you and your ex the skills you need to communicate effectively with each other and your children as you navigate the emotional aspect of the divorce process.

8. Don’t Forget Self-Care

When you go through a divorce with kids, don’t forget about self-care. Prioritizing your mental and physical health can ensure you are emotionally available and able to connect with your child when they need to rely on you the most. By simply taking some time for yourself each day, eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep, you will be better able to manage your own stress and ensure you are present for your child.

Contact an Experienced Missouri Divorce and Family Law Attorney

If you are facing divorce with kids, it’s essential to have a compassionate family law attorney by your side who can ensure their best interests are met. Divorce and family law attorney Mark A. Wortman is committed to walking his clients through the divorce process and helping them achieve the best possible results for them and their children. Mark provides trusted representation in the greater Kansas City, Missouri area for divorce and a broad scope of family law issues.

If you are going through divorce, schedule a confidential consultation to learn how attorney Mark A. Wortman can help with your case. Contact Mark online or by calling (816) 523-6100.